


Wet By Your Under

by Ema21



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Ambiguous Feelings, Canon Compliant, Drama, First Time, M/M, Rimming, Romance?, Sex, Slash, members who don't communicate well, superfluous use of the word pussy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-03
Updated: 2019-06-03
Packaged: 2020-04-07 11:16:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,705
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19083916
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ema21/pseuds/Ema21
Summary: Kihyun is upset when he hears how lewd Changkyun's "Horizon" lyrics are, and goes to get answers from him.[written May–June 2019]





	Wet By Your Under

**Author's Note:**

> Seriously, "Horizon" can have about a million meanings........ :(

\---

WET BY YOUR UNDER

\---

 

The poster for Changkyun's new mixtape was released a few hours ago, Kihyun realizes. Instead of scrolling for more updates about their group, he pauses absently, in the hallway on the way to his room, and zooms in to his phone display. The drop date is written in magenta letters on a grungy purple backdrop, and when he sees there's English writing at the bottom, he zooms further to try to read it.

Ok... He understands the words. But not the meaning fully, so he tries again.

"Come and make me wet by your under?" he reads out loud, unsure. It doesn't sit well with him. He's pretty sure this is some kind of slang. It sounds bad somehow. Definitely sexual...

He turns the phrase over on his tongue again and hates it even more.

No matter if this niggling bother to solve the puzzle has come to him in the middle of the hallway, he just stares at it for a minute. And the more he thinks about it, the worse the images in his head become.

This is gonna be bad for the group. Why didn't they press the youngest for more details about his new music? Why didn't anyone even listen to the damn thing? All they knew was that it was in English, and the fact that Starship had taken their sweet time working out the legal issues with release meant the issue got buried under a mountain of other work and worries.

Well, Kihyun is worrying about it now. Definitely.

It's then that Changkyun makes his way out of a bedroom and Kihyun looks stunned to meet him so suddenly. Like fate. Or Murphy's Law.

But since Kihyun has him in his sights now—now that he's had a handful of minutes to dream up horrible media scenarios—he can't help calling to him before he passes.

"—The poster released today. Those are lyrics, right?"

Just like Kihyun to use that biting tone of his too; the one he uses for nagging, when he doesn't want to raise his voice but they all know already he's pissed.

Changkyun stops. Apprehensive eyebrow already in place, but there's some patience in his demeanor. "Yeah."

" _Make me wet by your under_? What is that even supposed to mean? Because I'm pretty sure that's incorrect somehow."

"Are you correcting my English?" Changkyun's eyebrow quirks and it's probably the habit Kihyun hates most about him. The youngest is quiet and you can nag him to high heaven and he'll take it, and even do what you ask, but that damn eyebrow of his—fresh with a piercing now too—it pisses Kihyun off even more.

"Maybe. Or maybe you can tell me what kind of sick sex you're telling our fans you've been having. Go on. If you can put it in a song, you can tell me too, right?"

This takes Changkyun aback enough to maybe consider Kihyun's words, studies him for a moment before replying. "Are you actually upset?"

If Changkyun has become calmer, Kihyun becomes the exact opposite—

"Do the others know the shit you write or are you counting on us all being terrible at English?" he barks. "I can't believe you got that song approved. If the release wasn't already inevitable, I'd be throwing a fit at management—"

"Instead you're here to lecture me?" Changkyun huffs and walks away. But Kihyun pulls him back by the shoulder, harshly.

"Excuse you! Don't ignore me."

Changkyun's expression is dull as he faces the elder again. "I think you made yourself clear. You don't like it."

Kihyun won't let this go. There'll be hell to pay for this blunder—"Does Hoseok know?"

"Know what?"

"Don't pretend to be stupid. Know how lewd the lyrics actually are."

"He knows enough."

"You know you can't hide once it's out. The fans will know what you're talking about."

"Why are you so concerned anyway?"

"How could I _not_ be?" Kihyun's eyes are nearly bugging out of his head. "I'm trying to figure it out and you're being defensive and shit. Just talk already! Explain that line so I don't  misunderstand."

"Put it through a translator." He's not in the mood for Kihyun's shit right now. All he wanted was a drink of water and to go back to his room. Time off is precious and he doesn't feel like spending it getting lectured. Not today at least. So he steps back again, only to get Kihyun yelling in his face his time.

"You little shit! Don't tell me that! You know that's not the kind of thing Google will translate."

"Then I think you know enough."

"No. I'm serious," Kihyun stresses. "Is that some gay slang or something? Are we about to be bombarded with interviews about LGBT rights in Korea or something because of you?"

"I think it's more vague than that."

Perhaps that's some kind of answer, so he'll try to calm down again, but Kihyun is still pissed.

"Just fucking talk, ok? Explain it to me."

"It's intentionally vague."

Changkyun's stupid mood—Ugh! Kihyun is about to tear his hair out—

"No, YOU'RE being intentionally vague!"

Changkyun scoffs but his voice also raises finally. "You want me to describe sex to you? What are you, five?"

Of course Kihyun doesn't take well to insults. He's really near seething that he has to pull teeth this way. "No. I want you to describe the sex you're talking about in your song so I get the full picture."

And it seems Changkyun has had enough also.

"Fine. It means make my dick wet when you sit on it with your wet pussy. Is that clear enough for you?"

"I DON'T HAVE A PUSSY!" Kihyun finally explodes.

And then...

Oh.

What on Earth had he just said??

They're both stunned. Changkyun knows it was a slip of the tongue. Nothing to worry about, just funny as hell. His eyebrows are near his hairline, and he wants to laugh, but maybe it's not the time to tease Kihyun about it.

While Kihyun has frozen all motor functions. Changkyun's face is staring at him. Blank.

Instead of throwing his phone into Changkyun's face, he bolts right around and runs.

Fucking hell... how could he have been that worked up and stupid over absolutely nothing? This is not like him at all.

\---

All next day their conversation starts and stops awkwardly, and the air between them is tense. In the morning, priorities lie with getting some coffee in their system before the first schedule. Two of their members hadn't even come home last night, so Kihyun is trying his best to sweep the awkwardness from their fight under the carpet, while herding the rest of the members out of bed, and hopefully somewhere along the line getting answers from Changkyun about the song. Like, they'll have to talk about this pretty damn soon, before it gets released.

"So the song is about your girlfriend, or someone else?" Kihyun asks him on the way to the car.

Changkyun scoffs. "Maybe it's about you, but too bad you don't have a pussy."

Too bad they have no time for Kihyun to wring his little neck. Bratty youngest.

Between takes on set, while they wait for an adjustment for the main camera, Changkyun knows they have enough privacy to whisper one thing:

"For the record, I don't have a girlfriend. I fucked this girl a couple times and couldn't stand her anymore because she talked too much."

It was quiet, but Kihyun heard him. He studies him a moment, and though he wants to be angry, somehow that wasn't that bad of a thing to say. He wishes he could ask Changkyun more, since the boy is always so tight-lipped about his relationships. But damn, the shoot resumes and Kihyun has no time to reply anything before being told to hit a mark.

In the car at the end of the day, Changkyun's words are really digging into Kihyun. There's something on the tip of his tongue, but instead of saying it with words, he whips out his phone to text instead; though Changkyun is in the seat right in front.

_Do I talk too much?_

_No_ , comes the reply.

Changkyun didn't even turn around.

And something about this, this not talking properly thing, is really bugging Kihyun.

\---

The next day is silent between them, but by the end of it Kihyun is curious enough to try talking again. He catches Changkyun before he can run off to his studio and barricade himself there for the night.

"Can I listen to it before it's out?" he asks. "Or do I have to wait?"

Of course Changkyun knows what he's talking about. Because truthfully, Kihyun's questions have been on his mind also.

He checks the time on his phone and decides he can waste two minutes on this, so he pulls up the track, bumps up the volume and hands his phone over to the elder.

A haunting melody starts before any lyrics do. It takes almost a minute until Changkyun's rap begins; while Kihyun and he sit there scrutinizing each other. The melody is... nice? If Kihyun has to say something about it. It's unusual. Dark. And so are the mess of words Changkyun says on the track. His voice is low, really low, like gravel, before the other singer comes on and the song ends up repetitive.

But that first part—he couldn't make anything out of it. When the song is finished he rewinds to the first verse to listen again immediately. This is the best part of the song but it's gibberish.

He sighs, realizing that Changkyun has work to do tonight, so he can't hold him up forever.

"Rap the first part for me. I don't understand what you're saying."

Maybe since Changkyun has a soft spot for Kihyun, that he's magnanimous enough to really rap that part for him. His voice sounds just like the track—a string of words mashed together in monotone. Kihyun _thinks_ he understands this time. 90% of it? But there's something so distracting about the tone, that when he's done—it shouldn't be done. Changkyun's deep voice still rings in his ears and he wants to hear it again. There's something about it...

"O-one more time," Kihyun says and unconsciously steps into Changkyun's space. He feels guilty for asking; he feels _something_ about this song... "I didn't get it."

"That's the point."

"What's the point?"

"Unclear on purpose," Changkyun replies. And he takes back his phone.

Something, just something about that answer sets Kihyun off again, and his mood turns.

"You're a piece of work, eh? Vague _and_ unclear!"

He's hot and volatile again, can barely explain what about Changkyun has angered him this time. Maybe it's Changkyun being so aloof and cool, while Kihyun's mind is full of dirty English lyrics. Which Kihyun _hates_.

"You gonna harass me about this song for how long exactly?"

He's trying to be calm, really he is, but Changkyun—just— _ugh_. He gives up, shoves Changkyun aside and walks past him. "Actually, I'm done. And I'm never listening to it again because it's crap."

Of course it's perfectly audible when Changkyun mutters in his wake. "Because your taste in music is so good."

\---

Changkyun's song makes him angry and he doesn't understand why. But he's been listening to it incessantly whenever he can shove earpods into his ears. He really hates this song.

The song is out and it's everything their group has been talking about since it hit the public. The managers are having a fiesta over Monsta X breaking into a new genre with an English song—nothing like Kihyun had expected. It pisses him off even more.

So he shoves his earpods into his ears deeper and tries to ignore them all.

It's only Changkyun who notices Kihyun's behavior. It's not too much more solitary than he usually is, but Changkyun takes the opportunity anyway to check Kihyun's phone as it sits on the waiting room coffee table, just to see what Kihyun is listening to without disturbing him. _Horizon_. He raises an eyebrow at him but doesn't say words.

He doesn't want to upset the elder, but something has crawled between them because of this song... it's palpable.

A few hours later he finds Kihyun sitting on the bathroom floor, hunched over with his arms around his knees and a phone in his hand. Earpods in his ears, and he doesn't need to ask what Kihyun is listening to.

He sighs. "Why are you so weird over this?" he asks. He's trying.

"Fuck that girl and her pussy. I'm happy you don't like her," Kihyun bites back.

With words so strange and vague as to Kihyun's meaning, Changkyun is left with only an, "Ok..." hanging out of his mouth. He's not sure what this is supposed to mean, but he's reminded of Kihyun's little blunder, when he messed up words and said something awkward.

"What exactly bothers you so much about my song? It's just a song."

"I don't like thinking of you like that," Kihyun hisses at him, but Changkyun stands his ground.

"Like what?"

"Like... like—having girls and meaningless nights of debauchery. Whatever you get up to these days." Kihyun is whisper-yelling.

It's really hard to treat him properly when he sets himself up like this, temper flaring before Changkyun can even defend himself. And since Changkyun has always been bad at de-escalating situations anyway, the first thing on his mind tumbles right out of his mouth.

"I'm not five," he retorts. "And for the record, I've seen a dozen kissmarks on you at least, so don't play innocent."

Kihyun looks at him like he's been slapped.

They're dancing around the real argument.

Kihyun _knows_... he's being possessive and jealous. It's irrational. He knows he feels this way about his girlfriends—As he stares back at Changkyun, he feels his face heat up and his eyes nearly prickle—It tears his sanity to shreds, but to feel this way over Changkyun is ridiculous.

He leaves immediately. Barely takes his phone with him in his rush to fly past the younger.

\---

 _Are you at your studio?_ Kihyun texts their youngest later that week.

_Yeah._

_Alone?_

_Yeah. Why?_

_Stay there. On my way._

Changkyun shrugs. And then sighs, when less than ten minutes later he's letting Kihyun into his studio, and pulling up a chair for him to sit by the desk with him. Except that Kihyun makes no move to sit. He's standing around awkwardly and uncharacteristically.

"Don't you want to record something?"

Changkyun had assumed, because that's most of why Minhyuk visits Changkyun's studio. To quickly record whatever was floating in his mind. Of course, he knows also that Kihyun has been acting weird, but he's been telling himself all week that it's something to do with music, so he can calm his own nerves over the matter.

"Explain what _I'll believe in you even when I go blind_ means," Kihyun bombards.

"Explain what you meant when you yelled at me that you don't have a pussy. Then maybe we can talk," Changkyun replies in a huff. He probably shouldn't have said it, but maybe it's time to start saying a few things to Kihyun; so no, he won't take it back. "I don't get what's in your head lately."

Was that an olive branch? Kihyun ponders for a moment before deciding to be honest.

"It's a mess," he admits. But the way Kihyun is looking around, eyes unsteady and indecisive where it's safe to look, is worrisome. Like he's a stranger in this studio (which he isn't.) Or maybe in Changkyun's life—and that's something Changkyun doesn't like the sound of.

"I can see that much," the younger says. More softly than either had predicted. He steps forward and Kihyun finally meets his eyes. There's some understanding locked up inside there, so Changkyun takes a plunge and asks something concrete. "Kihyun. Are you... looking... for something here?" He points between the two of them, and though it takes a second, Kihyun's eyes fly wide open.

"—N-n-no!" he stutters, panicked. But that idea—what?—now he really has no idea.

"Are you looking to get fucked?" Changkyun asks. His voice is steady but gentle, despite his words, and when he takes Kihyun by the shoulder Kihyun steps back as if burned.

With an undignified yelp too.

He's not helping himself... He meant to swear but can't even get a full word out, just a pathetic F-sound. Kihyun is walking backwards, nearly tripping to get away but Changkyun is stepping closer. Shit—he needs to use words to clear this up—it's a misunderstanding! His mouth feels like lead though and there's an anvil on his chest too—suddenly his heart is beating so wildly.

He's trapped, eyes boring into Changkyun's, so intimidating, like he's being torn open and unveiled and it's terrifying. This—this isn't—

His knees hit the seat of the couch at the back of Changkyun's studio and he falls into it, with Changkyun standing right in front of him.

When the younger puts a hand on the back of the couch to lean into his space, Kihyun turns his head swiftly. "N-not that," he manages to say. But his mind is foggy, more than it has been all week, wound up in this vortex of Changkyun's sexuality. That's what this is. That's what's got him by the throat right now.

What is even happening right now? He can barely breathe, much less answer questions.

Changkyun backs up, but only enough to kneel in front of the elder. It's better, less suffocating, but not really. Kihyun watches him, curious, shaking with nerves.

"Then...?" Changkyun prompts. He waits for him to speak, but Kihyun says nothing. He has no idea how to defend himself, and Changkyun doesn't wait long enough before dropping another heartattack—"How wet do you want to be?"

Kihyun gulps. Within his fear he finds outrage and uses it to muster up some words. "W- _what_ are you talking about?"

"You. You want to top or bottom? What do you want?"

"Wait—wait—you think—?"

This is so much. Way too much all at once and it's taking Kihyun's brain forever to process what should be simple questions and answers. Kihyun had just wanted... to know the lyrics.

Why is Changkyun on his knees?? Kihyun—snap out of it!

"Think what? Isn't that what you're here for?"

"Sex?" Changkyun's hands are flat on his thighs and pushing up, pulling his legs apart as he kneels. "Y-you think I came here for sex?"

Changkyun shrugs.

"Are you _insane_?" Kihyun has found words, but no actual strength to them. He's jittery, so intimidated by Changkyun yet has no idea why. Probably has something to do with being propositioned by a friend, out of the blue. But it's deeper; it came in a rush of fury, like a tornado to his conscience and he couldn't get Changkyun out of his mind all week—That's what makes him so slow now—It was worry at first, genuine worry that they'd created a media nightmare. But then by the hundredth time he'd listened to that damn song he wanted to never hear about their youngest's romances ever again. Something nasty had crawled under his skin and no matter how much he scrubbed in the shower, he couldn't get clean. His eyes are so wide as he looks back into Changkyun's but the younger is so calm... always.

His words are low. Like nails down Kihyun's spine; "Just trying to work you out. Thought maybe—"

Changkyun just did _something_ to him. He's always known their youngest is weird and fearless and giving of his love. Even if he's quiet and doesn't open up. And they'd talked once before, more intimately, about how Changkyun has trouble saying what he really wants to say. It doesn't come out right for him. Which is why he shows his affection for their members by hanging off their shoulders and smelling them, but when it comes to saying words he ends up with jack shit. He buys them gifts or helps Kihyun clean instead, or something...

Something mysterious that Kihyun had felt in his song that he wanted to know more of.

But this? This...

"—No," Kihyun bids. Breathless. Because Changkyun's hands are still on his thighs, and they're so warm through the material that it's making Kihyun sweat. He wants to say more, but looking down at Changkyun between his legs steals rational thoughts from his brain.

Was the youngest... really offering... _that_?

This is insane. Yet Kihyun can't make up his mind. And then Changkyun is talking again, saying, "I haven't tried much with men, but I'm open to it..."

—This is wayyy too much information.

Kihyun places his hands on top of Changkyun's.

"Why would I want this? Why are you saying that to me?" He doesn't want to be rude exactly, since there's something fragile between them. But especially since Changkyun is saying real words, this isn't something to discard... It's enticing. The opposite of what Kihyun knows he should be saying: _I'm straight, you little twerp! You're messed up in the head! What's wrong with you? I hate your stupid song! Go fuck one of your whores! Go away—go away—leave me alone... why are you doing this to me...?_

There's fear in Kihyun's eyes, so Changkyun takes it easier on him. He's made a mistake, he's pretty sure now. Why would Kihyun want this with another member?—Changkyun should know better, but it was the first thing on his mind and it flew past better judgment. Kihyun's messed up mood has messed him up too. The elder had been listening to _his_ song, with _his_ dirty lyrics—it did something primal to him. Changkyun had pushed it off, told himself that Kihyun doesn't think anything about him or his song. That he's stuck up and prissy and wants nothing to do with Changkyun's raunchy sex song that the youngest is smearing their group reputation with. And yet he felt it so deeply that Kihyun was listening to _his_ music. On repeat. It made his heart flutter and he shoved it down. _It's just one of the members_ —

"—I thought—I wanted—"

—One of the members that Changkyun loves most. Changkyun wanted to say thank you. But he says everything wrong! All the time! Shit. Kihyun doesn't want him—is he stupid?? He pulls his hands away in fright and on instinct Kihyun catches them back. The younger nearly chokes in a self-deprecating panic. Kihyun can hit, he thinks. Kihyun would too...

"Changkyun," Kihyun whispers to him. They need to talk. This is all a mess. They don't actually want to hurt each other. Kihyun pulls him into his lap and Changkyun drapes his arms around the elder, just in time to hide the wetness forming on his eyelashes.

He blinks and inhales in Kihyun's arms. And hides in Kihyun's neck.

It's like fresh air. He doesn't get to hold Kihyun often. Kihyun doesn't do skinship as often as the rest. It doesn't mean Changkyun loves him any less. He doesn't want to upset Kihuyn. He's sorry he made a mistake. He's wanted to express himself for years; wanted to hold Kihyun more often.

It's not easy to hold Changkyun in return. There's a guilty weight on Kihyun's chest, tightening up his lungs. He never thought, not in a million years that Changkyun—that any of the members would say that to him—would want him that way. Had he done this? Was this his fault? When had this even happened between them? He needs to fix this.

"Listen, I messed up. I don't hate your song."

"I know," Changkyun mumbles into his neck. His breath is hot and Kihyun tries to ignore the way it makes his blood rush.

"I wanted to protect you, or I don't know what—I wanted to know..."

Changkyun's lips are against his skin when Kihyun's sentence trials off and Changkyun finishes it for him. "...How to get wet, under?"

It shakes Kihyun. _No!_

"—Yes," he answers.

Fuck—what is he saying again?!

Changkyun places the sweetest kiss on his neck, and Kihyun's mind goes spinning. He _knows_ Changkyun. The boy is vulnerable under his shell. He's split right open right now and Kihyun needs to tell him _no_.

"Want me to make you wet? I can..."

"Yes," Kihyun answers again. _Fuck_ —Changkyun and this fucked up mood—his dick is so hard.

If he says yes he gets to tumble deeper into this fantasy that has warped him since the poster. What is it about Changkyun that riles him up this way? He doesn't want this with a fellow member! He doesn't want this with a male. He doesn't want—whatever perverse thoughts are in Changkyun's brain! He knew—he _feared_ —it ran through his mind—it pooled at his groin the first time he read those words and he hated it. And it's right in front of him now, isn't it?

Changkyun isn't like the rest. He's fearless in the worst ways. Abnormal. Always zips left when everyone else zooms right. It's attractive. It arrests Kihyun every time Changkyun does something unconventional. And now he has Changkyun's kisses on his skin and from his deepest, darkest fears, what he wants most is to understand this other boy.

"Y-yes," Kihyun whines. Again. He feels his voice break with emotion. Everything is telling him to say no! But—he just wants to _know_.

"Are you curious?" Changkyun asks.

"Yes." He feels powerless under Changkyun. Wants to stitch his own mouth shut so badly!

Changkyun exhales against him and Kihyun wants to feel him closer, to feel his body so he can understand, because Changkyun's words can never be trusted. The younger places a hand on his chest and Kihyun drags it down for him. Until Changkyun's hand is pressed on Kihyun's erection, thick in his pants and he fucking wants to cry, but everything that is Changkyun is so potent that he wants more of it.

He kisses over Kihyun's neck and to his jaw, and speaks so close to his ear that he can feel the tremor it causes. "Are you going to spread your under for me?"

 _You fucking pervert!_ he whines in his throat with a ragged pitch—

"Yes!" Kihyun answers and rubs up to receive more friction from the hand touching him.

"What do you want from me?" Changkyun asks into his skin.

And Kihyun trembles so badly in his hands, grabbing his body in return and grinding into him. "Y-your song."

"Take your pants off. Want you," Changkyun instructs.

He makes room for Kihyun to do just that, and helps him get his pants and underwear down his legs, off his ankles and flings the garments across the room so they land on his workstation—his attention zeros in on Kihyun's privates though, where he's tipped back, slumped low on the couch from Changkyun pulling his pants off, so his ass is nearly hanging off the seat and he scrambles to sit back up, but Changkyun is faster.

In an instant he's got Kihyun's legs hooked over his shoulders, face digging into the juncture of thigh and pelvis and Kihyun goes howling—bucking against him and trapping his head between his legs until Changkyun bites him to let go.

" _Changkyun!_ " No! No! What are you doing?! He's yelling in his head. "Fuck..." he ends up saying as Changkyun pushes his legs wider. Kissing up his thighs, between them. Kihyun whines. "F-fuck."

The younger isn't even looking up at him, just between his legs, as he takes Kihyun by the ass and spreads him wider. Everything exposed. Everything an inch from his nose—

"You're beautiful," he says to Kihyun. It's eerily calm. Then licks up the center of his ass, across his hole with a flat tongue intent on tasting him. And one isn't enough, another lick, over his hole, dragging over his rim and Kihyun cries—hand over his own mouth— _holy fuck_ —

Changkyun has melted him. Just completely dissolved his brain. And there are no words when Changkyun's tongue is doing that to him— _Beautiful...?_

He whimpers when Changkyun plays with him this way; fingers pressing into his thighs, nails digging into his skin, likely to leave marks because Kihyun is shaking as Changkyun holds him down... tongue flicking over his entrance like the younger likes it. Licking him wet, dipping into him, kissing—making out with him—and he feels it, from the sweet way he's eating him out, Kihyun can feel it like a tightness, a heat at his core. Winding up. Kihyun actually likes this...

It's sick. Not to mention that they shouldn't even be here! What other lover would treat his body this way but Changkyun? He can feel himself, sopping in saliva, dripping between the halves of his ass. He can hear it even; it's messy, Changkyun's face is shoved into his skin, breaths hot, mouth hungry on him, even plunging into him now and it has Kihyun moaning out. He's opened this way, licked clean, licked wet, sucked between Changkyun's lips, impaled on his tongue...

The younger is getting breathless between his legs, laving his own moans into Kihyun's fevered skin, pouring his lust all over Kihyun's asshole, frantic to fuck him—until he stops because, "I'm gonna come if I keep this up," he says.

Kihyun's eyes are wide, fist shoved into his mouth, when their eyes meet. Who fucking says the kind of shit Changkyun says? He's not even the one getting eaten out!

Changkyun wipes the spit off his chin and then takes Kihyun by that very hand, takes it in his own and twines their fingers, so Kihyun has no more hiding place.

The look in his eyes is so sincere when Changkyun tells him, "Hold me tight, please." And kisses Kihyun on the mouth.

So there's nothing to do but fall with him. This _hurts_ , how Changkyun makes love, the way Kihyun wants to hold him now is heartwrenching—he grabs him so tight, bringing his body overtop and crushing their mouths together. Common sense be damned—he doesn't want them parted anymore. Like the sea and sky he wants them aligned and to have ocean waves crash where they meet.

He's so wet, so hard and built up and freaked out and blissed at once. "Changkyun," he breathes between their kiss; the younger's lips so plump and hot, nearly raw from licking him under, so passionately. "Changkyun," he says again. He can taste himself—it's faint, damp, unlike first kisses should be. Kihyun molds their mouths together and pulls them down anyway, so they're horizontal on the couch. And Changkyun can lie between his legs as he licks him with the same tongue that had been in that pretty ass, and make Kihyun whine for more—"Chang- _kyun_..." Kihyun begs again. He's never kissed someone like this before—plenty of girls, plenty of drunken fucked up kisses, sloppy and stupid and neat and boring and everything in between, but not like Changkyun. The way Changkyun holds him tight by the jaw and plunders his mouth is sinful.

He makes out the same way he fucks with his tongue and the feeling travels to Kihyun's dick; it makes his entrance fluttery and needy as he clenches around nothing—he needs something like never before—he wants this, whatever this is. It's sweltering hot, and when he realizes his own thoughts, then he's grabbing at Changkyun's clothing to undress him in a frenzy. He manages to shove the younger's t-shirt just high enough to touch over abs and back, before Changkyun lets his mouth go and shoves his own pants off.

In a second, he runs to his desk and dumps out a whole drawer of junk onto the floor, to find a tube that he brings back to Kihyun. And then drops his underwear also.

He's back between Kihyun's legs not a moment later, skin on skin, hard lengths tight and pressed together between them, as he steals one more kiss from Kihyun's mouth. Deep and breathless so Kihyun is panting beneath him in anticipation.

When their mouths part, Kihyun is looking between them as Changkyun fists lube over himself, lip bitten between his teeth in a moment of concentration.

It's so real, Kihyun thinks in wonder. Life happening right before his eyes... He wants to say something, anything; yet the thought barely registers with him that he's about to get fucked. He's still stuck on Changkyun's tongue, his mouth, his kiss, his body, his skin... he strips Changkyun's t-shirt off him to touch him more.

Touches over his nipples and Changkyun bats his hand away before lining up with his opening. Their eyes link. It's fast. He positions, and leans down over Kihyun so neither can see where they join, and then— _Oh_.

All air empties from Kihyun's lungs and Changkyun kisses him then. Softly. As he sinks into his body. Slowly because he doesn't want to hurt Kihyun.

"You're my home, you know that?" he says between their lips.

And Kihyun believes him. If Changkyun says such sweet, honest things, then it's ok that this is too soon and he feels stretched like he might break. He tries to relax and forget why they shouldn't be doing this.

"Tell me about the song," Kihyun breathes into their kiss.

"It's a love song," Changkyun says back to him.

Kihyun believes this too. As Changkyun takes him by the nape and buries himself to the hilt. Kihyun cries out, too tight, trembling already. _Horizon is a love song..._

"Shhhhh," the younger says to him. "Shhh... take it." So softly. Like velvet. His voice drapes over him and it feels like a song. It curls down his spine and pools between his legs and Kihyun can't help clenching on him and crawling nails into his back. "Shh," Changkyun says to him again.

When Changkyun rolls his hips, Kihyun pulls him tighter. Shallow rocking motions turn into longer strides and Kihyun struggles to keep up. The pressure of a dick against his prostate is heady. Unused to the feeling, Kihyun has no idea what to do with it, so he holds Changkyun only tighter as Changkyun positions his legs better. At a new angle, arousal is coiling fast in him; an intoxicating stimulation that he feels his mind lost to.

Everything is always moving so fast. He wants to slow down and ask when he recorded the song. What the double meanings are. How he met his American friend. Which producer cleaned up the final edit for him. None of this is appropriate to ask during sex. Then how about, how on Earth they got here? With Changkyun's dick up his ass—fuck.

Even worse is when Changkyun gives him harder thrusts that make his breath hitch. He needs to touch himself. He wants to come. He shoves Changkyun up so he's no longer panting into his neck and Changkyun gets the hint—grabs him by the ass and slams him down and Kihyun cries so brokenly.

It's good! So good. Fuck... hand around himself now that he has room, he can hardly keep up with how Changkyun is pounding his ass. Ugh—it's so much. Again, he wants _time,_ to kiss and trace kisses over Changkyun's chest and arms and neck—but instead his heart is beating in his throat, mouth slack in a perpetual moan, and he can't take this kind of double stimulus, it's too much. He hasn't done this enough and it's taken him too high, too fast to hold back—

Before he ever wanted to, he's coming—body contracting in a white high, shaking and he's probably yelling but doesn't know for sure. All he feels are waves, hot, quaking, Changkyun fucking him hardest through the high, and even after, when he's oversensitive and sore and he's done—so done. But Changkyun hasn't let him go; he's bent him double, kissing from Kihyun's mouth, across his face, until he's panting right under Kihyun's ear, chasing his own high where the elder can hear him best, how wrecked he is to be here, how much he wants Kihyun. It's brutal, the intensity of this. Kihyun wants to claw his eyes out right as Changkyun's orgasm breaks—can't do a thing, limp and fucked from his own high, he's scratching the shit out of Changkyun's shoulders while the younger cries into his skin and empties inside him.

"Fuck—fuck, Kihyun," he's moaning, still shaking. Kihyun is raw. Prostate yelling, while he's covered in come. Even his throat is sore, he never realized.

The fever of this aftermath is different than others. He's so weak. Everything happened so fast. Changkyun can lay on top of him for a year if he wants. Kihyun won't move an inch.

Their sense returns while Changkyun breathes into Kihyun's sweaty neck, and he pets down his torso so tenderly when the high has finally diffused.

He hasn't even pulled out. If he moves, Kihyun might kill him. As good as it was, he can feel that fucking all the way up his spine and knows as sure as he ever knew before—that he's not interested in being fucked in the ass. Fucking, Changkyun! He can't believe they're here right now.

Kihyun had been curious, it's true. But never had this in mind. It was something general and unspecific about Changkyun's sexuality. Something scary but not this; and yet Murphy's Law strikes again.

"You're the hottest thing I've ever seen with your legs in the air," Changkyun muses between their sticky skin. Dropping a random kiss to Kihyun's chest. It's unnervingly sweet.

How is he supposed to be angry at that? So he places a hand in Changkyun's hair and pets it backwards for him. The younger purrs almost like a cat from this treatment and trails more kisses on Kihyun's skin.

So they're cuddling after sex? Is this what they're doing now?

How is he supposed to pull away now?

"Kyun. Get up, ok? Go clean up."

Changkyun finally raises his messy mop of hair off Kihyun's chest to look at him. Cute and inquisitive look on his face, but it gets wiped straight when he sees Kihyun. "Are you angry?"

"Yes and no."

Changkyun panics. You can see it in his eyes, the way they glaze over with unshed tears. "I—I didn't mean—I mean, I meant what I said, you know."

"Don't worry about it. It was a mistake on my part too. Don't know what was in my head," Kihyun says. He feels more like his normal self again, except with a mountain of guilt on his chest.

"M-mistake?"

"Don't worry about it. Just don't talk about it and we're cool."

Kihyun moves to get up, but Changkyun tugs him back be the wrist. He's blinking to keep tears at bay. "Kihyun—I really—"

"I love you. So don't worry about it."

The elder picks up random pants off the floor, just to look like he has clothing on, and practically runs out the door. He forgot his underwear even. Once out of Changkyun's studio, he's running full speed down a long empty hallway—only to crash into the wall at the end and crumple into a broken pile of limbs on the floor...

Changkyun is so fragile inside, so loving and giving... Even after this, Kihyun understands too much and not enough. Changkyun and all the answers he wanted are still at large. In a mess of heartache and vague words.

Frozen in a hallway, he feels like retching. His ass is sore. Wet. Semen all over his shirt. He listens to Changkyun's song one last time—needs his voice again—

_Never know, you should never know~_

It's right there in the song. Taunting him.

When his heart shatters, Kihyun launches his phone against a wall and it breaks in the same way.

And Changkyun... writes another song.

\---

 

THE END.

 


End file.
